Oct 08 2007
PUSHING DAISIES Quotes
Here are some of the best quotes from every episode of PUSHING DAISIES.
Episode: “Pie-lette“
Narrator: First touch life. Second touch, dead, again…forever
——————–
Ned: I asked you to not to use the word zombie, it’s disrespectful. Stumbling around squaking for brains, it’s not how they do. And undead? Nobody wants to be un anything. Why begin a statement with a negative? It’s like say I don’t disagree. Just say you agree.
Emerson: Are you comfortable with living dead?
Ned: You’re either living or your dead. When you’re living you’re alive and when you’re dead that’s what you are, but when you’re dead and then you’re not you’re alive again. Can’t we say alive again? Doesn’t that sound nice?
——————–
Emerson: Words that sound alike get mixed up in my head.
Olive: Me too. I used to think masturbation meant chewing your food.(pause) I don’t think that anymore.
——————–
Emerson: How’s he look?
Ned: Fine, but my threshold’s pretty high so you have to take what I say with a grain of salt.
Emerson: That ain’t a grain of salt. That’s one of those blocks they give cows to lick.
Ned: He can’t help how he is.
Emerson: That doesn’t make it any less traumatic.
Ned: For who?
Emerson: Me. And, I’m sure him, but mainly me. I’m gonna wait outside.
——————–
Narrator: The pie maker’s lips went as far as they could go. He couldn’t will them to go any further.
——————–
Ned: What if you didn’t have to be dead?
Chuck: Well that would be preferable.
——————–
Chuck: I can’t even hug you? What if you need a hug? A hug can turn your day around.
Ned: I’m not a big fan of the hug,
Chuck: Then you haven’t been hugged properly. It’s like an emotional Heimlich. Someone puts their arms around you and they give you a squeeze and all your fear and anxiety come shooting out of your mouth in a big wet wad and you can breath again.
Ned: That’s fine for someone else to do if I’m choking on something other than emotion, but you can’t touch me.
Chuck: So a kiss is out of the question?
——————–
Ned: You can’t touch me.
Chuck: So, a kiss is out of the question?
——————–
Chuck: I guess dying is as good a reason as any to start living
——————–
Ned: “It’s kind of a random proximity thing.”
Emerson: “Bitch, I was in proximity!”
——————–
Emerson: We all have childhood issues. I have horror stories
Ned: I kind of killed her father when I was 10.
Emerson: Maybe not horror stories.
Chuck: I’ll be so mad if you’re lying you’ll have me scratching the drapes.
Ned: I’m not lying. Please don’t attack the window treatments.
——————–
Chuck: You said it was for justice. I don’t think justice was on the menu. Was it an entree?
Ned: More like the special of the day-can we drop the metaphors?
——————–
Ned: You’re supposed to be dead. This is pushing your luck.
Chuck: Yeah, well, luck pushed me first.
——————–
Chuck: You can’t just touch someone’s life and be done with it.
Ned: Yes I can. That’s how I roll.
——————–
Chuck: I guess dying is as good a reason as any to start living
——————–
Ned: I know, deep down in my primal sweet spot, that I was being unselfish for selfish reasons.
Episode: “Dummy“
(More coming soon…)
Chuck: How many people have you brought back to life?
Ned: It’s not like I walk around reviving childhood sweethearts.
——————–
Ned: Chuck, you’re the only human being I’ve ever made alive again to stay.
Narrator: He lied.
——————–
Olive: There’s a surprising lack of physical contact!
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Emerson: I know nothing about her except she has soft lips when she was ten.
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Chuck: So I really have to sit in the back from now on?
Ned: It’s for your own safety.
Chuck: You sound like my dad.
Ned: If my hand brushes yours, you’d be dead.
Chuck: He didn’t say that.
——————–
Chuck: Do you have any request, unfinished business from this life we could help you with?
Emerson: Don’t let her do this!
Bernard: Is this heaven?
Chuck: It could be…
Emerson: No, it’s not.
Bernard: Is that God?
Ned: No, it’s not.
Bernard: Good, because I’m Buddhist!
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Emerson: It’s a dead end, and not the kind of dead end you can undead and redead again.
——————–
Olive: Who is the funny girl stuck to Ned?
Emerson: Childhood sweetheart…
Olive: Still sweet? His heart?
Emerson: You want the truth
Emerson: He digs her in a way that he definitely does not dig you.
——————–
Chuck to Ned: Don’t you have any hidden talents or hobbies, I mean regular ones?
Episode: “The Fun in Funeral“
Chuck: Be Kind to animals. Kiss a beaver
——————–
Morgue Guy: I can write a book on hand moisturizer.
——————-
Emerson: I’m ripping off the bandaid.
Ned: I’m not a ripper. I pull up a corner a little at a time and then I run it under warm water and then I pull it up a little more. it’s a process.
Emerson: It’s better to rip.
——————–
Alfredo: It’s homeopathic.
Olive: Meaning it deeply relates to gay people
Alfredo: Gay only in that they are bright and happy
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Ned: It’s stuck.
Emerson: You better be playing. OH HELL NO!!!
——————–
Ned: I’ve always wanted to be a Jedi.
——————–
Ned: You framed someone for murder you ASS!
——————–
Ned: Everything we do is a choice. Oatmeal or cereal. Highway or side streets. Kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness. It’s the best anyone can do.
——————–
Ned: I’m gonna see if I have any plastic wrap.
O I gotta say that one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard on TV was when Chuck says (about Ned’s refrigerator) this is the smallest chees box Ive ever seen!
I mean I was ROFL cuz I tease my husband so much about how he likes cheese - You know… “behold the power of cheese”
well now we call our frig the cheese box. never holds less than 3-4 kinds at one time
Tonight’s episode (for Canada) was hilarious! So many good quotes. Involuntary Manslaughter. I wanted to be a jedi. You framed someone for murder, you ass. All great Ned quotes.
Ps, I love this site ever so much.
Emerson - “OH HELL NO!”
Ned - “You framed someone for murder. You ASS!”
My favorites from this week!
Future me, though is going to I told you so up one side of you and down the other one, but now me is just going to sit back and watch.
Future me is here now and he’s got something to say.
- Emerson
- Look-e-here, you need a ticket to ride this ride, and if your ticket gets punched, you need to take somebody else’s ticket.
- Emerson
Olive: What’s your neutral thought?
Alfredo: You seem decidedly unhappy.
Olive: I haven’t decided that.
Alfredo: It’s homeopathic.
Olive: Meaning it deeply relates to gay people?
Alfredo: Gay only in that they are bright and happy.
I’m fragile on this issue.
- Ned
Both from Dummy - one funny and one sweet:
“You love secrets. You want to marry secrets and have little half-secret half-human babies.”
- Chuck to Ned
“I have so many questions, my mind wanders.”
“You need to feed it warm milk and a turkey sandwich. Let it curl up in a sunny spot and take a nap.”
- Chuck and Ned
Pie-lette:
Ned: I just thought my world would be a better place if you were in it.
Dummy:
Chuck: Is this strange?
Ned: It’s not strange, unusual maybe eccentric in a quaint way, like dessert spoons.
Chuck: I have so many questions, my mind wanders.
Ned: You need to feed it warm milk and a turkey sandwich, let it curl up in a sunny spot and take a nap.
i loved it when chuck said something along the lines of
“has dying made me morbid?”
Olive had a few good ones tonight:
“This is a piehouse, not some herbal crack den.”
“That wasn’t the truth bus, that was the bitchy cross town express.”
“Kick Pooh kick!” - Chuck
“Are you stuck?” - Chuck
“No.” - Emerson
“You’re like Winnie the Pooh. Gimme your paws,Pooh.” -Chuck
ommggg; i totally LOVE this show!
its sooo cute!
my all time favorite!
“Ulysses S. Grant said that. Not all of it, just the last part. Battle of Missionary Ridge. My Great-great-great-great Grandpappy fought proudly against him with this sword.” - Wilford Woodruff
“You adopted?” - Ned
ha this is one of my favorite quotes:
ned- “its not murder! …its..accidentel..involentary…man-slauter…”
My favorite quote from “Dummy”:
Chuck: Shotgun!
Ned: CHUCK!
Chuck: I hate the backseat.
Ned: Dead. Again. FOREVER.
My favorite quote is an extension of the moisturizer one. WHere he’s all “People don’t want the last this that touches them to be ashy” This show is so great.
I love one of the quoptations fro last night’s episode. It went something like this;
Chuck: We’re the living dead on Halloween! It’s them that should be afraid of us.
(in the episode with the horses)
after chuck translates trampled dudes words:
ned: you can understand him?
chuck: i had head gear for 4 years
ned: when? you always had perfect teeth
chuck: puberty, my aunts said it was birth control
does anyone know the quote from the last episode, “Bitches” that Ned says at the end to Chuck about how people wish for things and wants things but those things aren’t what they need?
Can we get this updated? There are lots of great quotes from the other episodes, but I have to go to other sites to find them.
what sites do you go to?
http://www.pushingdaisiesinsider.com/quotes/
OMG this show rox my red sox off!!!!
I love how Chuck called the fridge, “the cheese box!”
I absolutly love this show!
Ned hardly ever says any bad words or anything though. I want to see the one where:
“You framed someone for muder, you ASS!”
He’s so cute and adorable.